Who or what is Derek Haines the Vandal? Novelist, songwriter, singer, musician, author, poet, lazy soul, vandal, grandfather? Who knows? From his own description below, it seems he doesn’t really know either.
‘For some reason, I was created some years ago at the age of 42, and then just started writing books, novels, poetry, songs and anything else one can do with a pencil and piece of paper. Everything is a bit of a blur before that. A strange blueish blur in fact.
I seem to be attracted to the antithesis of anything. The divergent, contrary, antipode or just plain opposite. Agreeing seems to be one of my very weak points. On the other hand, I am a very good cook, which hardly anyone believes. Additionally, I don’t agree with nobody that double negatives are passé. I don’t teach English for nothing, you know.
As for my writing style, I just try to put words in, as Douglas Adams once said, ‘a clever order’. Not that I always achieve this feat. Probably because my creative juices are handicapped by trying to remember how to spell. I always get stuck on words like restar… no…. restaura… no restaure….. well you know, somewhere you go to eat food. My clever order theory is often tested by the fact that my impatience always races ahead of my brain and fingers. Causes a bit of calamity.
I tend to write best in a horizontal position which makes for a lot of wear and tear on my sofa and annoys everyone around me who would like to use the sofa from time to time. Once they have moved all the books, papers, files, laptops, CDs and cigarette butts, there’s normally enough space for them, but I tend to reclaim my territory quite quickly.
I’m always slaving away on an idea, new novel, blog and song at the same time, so I get a bit confused sometimes. Well, a lot of the time. Oh, really slaving is not a good word to describe me accurately. Working? No. Trying? No. Being slothically lazy? Yes. That’s the one.’
Well apart from the spelling, enjoy what vandalism you find here.
For those of you who would like to know more about Derek Haines, writer, musician and teacher, visit the main website for more information.
5 comments
D Rotterman
12/07/2011 at 8:16 pm (UTC 2) Link to this comment
Is it an age thing? The older I get, the more dyslexic I become. Typing words in the wrong order, forgetting how to spell. I could have written a dozen books in the same amount of time I spent correcting my stupid mistakes. Arghh!
Even with the typos, writing is the most fun I’ve had since playing ball and going camping with my kids. I hope, when I ever get anything published that my readers enjoy them as much as I did writing them.
erin orison
26/07/2011 at 10:09 pm (UTC 2) Link to this comment
Dead Loving it.
Derek Haines
26/07/2011 at 10:37 pm (UTC 2) Link to this comment
Thank you Erin
Derek Haines recently posted..Money Is The Problem
Lee Neale
04/02/2012 at 4:29 pm (UTC 2) Link to this comment
Great to meet you Derek! Inspirational to see someone not burdened by the usual narrow-minded social stigma of age, when it comes to getting on with seriously doing your thing and doing it your way. I can relate. I’ve been a late starter in going after my dream of being a successful writer, procrastinating in youthful indulgence for far longer than is generally considered healthy. There’s a famous Bill Hicks quote that I live by: “Growing old, mandatory. Growing up, definitely optional.” And if you don’t mind me saying so, you bear a striking resemblence to the actor Nik Nolte in this photo! Thanks once again for accepting my piece for publishing. I’m honoured to find a home for it here.
Derek Haines
04/02/2012 at 4:49 pm (UTC 2) Link to this comment
Well thank you for all the compliments Lee!
I think my growing up and even growing old has been hindered by being born with an over-active and non-treatable rebellious attitude.