On Writing

Writing is a bit like cooking. The more you do it, the better you get at it. If I think back to my first attempts at writing, oh, and my first attempts at cooking, I can look back and laugh until my sides split. While writing seems to many like such a natural thing to …

I know a lot of Vandal readers are writers and authors. So I would like to pose a question to you. Is your promotional writing up to standard? The key to successful writing for promotional reasons is the first ten to fifteen words. This is even more important if the text is going to be …

As I know many Vandal readers are writers, I know they will understand when I say that there are times when the words just get stuck. Some call it writer’s block, but really it’s just a moment in a story when the ideas dry up or you feel that the story is drifting. While there …

Writing is one thing, but preparing your writing for readers is another. With so many writers now being given the wonderful opportunity to publish their work, there are many who are either sloppy and lazy, or are lacking in the grammatical and orthographic fundamentals necessary to write well. It doesn’t matter if it’s a book, …

It never ceases to amaze me how little effort some writers put into their promotional writing for their own books. After slaving away for months or even years writing a book, surely the book deserves a little extra time and effort to promote it in the best possible light. Some book descriptions, author bios, social …

If you are in any way connected to books, reading, writing on the Internet there is no escaping the range of debates about self publishing. However, what has got lost is that self publishing is not solely about Amazon, Kindle and ebooks. While it is super simple to ‘clack’ out a Word document and upload it to …

While there is always doubt in a writer’s mind, there comes a day when you just know what you have written is not working or that it is simply rubbish. I have just had this day, and have decided to trash a project I have been working on now for a few months. There is …

I know it’s an old journalistic saying that when a dog bites a man it’s not news, but when a man bites a dog it is. It is also a good example of how to attract attention by writing good titles, or in the case of newspapers, headlines. So, if you are reading this now, chances are …

Self publishing maybe an inexpensive way to publish a book, but without thorough proofreading and good editing it can turn out to be an embarrassing disaster. Engaging reliable and professional proof readers and editors, while a wise move, is far from inexpensive. Charges range considerably, but at say $0.02 per word for proofreading and $0.03 and upwards for editing, …

One of the advantages of being a blogger is that I can blow my own trumpet. After all, it’s my blog isn’t it, so I can say what I please. Let’s start with the facts. I’m ruggedly good looking, rich, articulate, sexy, slim, athletic, well educated and above all, exceedingly modest. I could also probably …

How to sell books becomes a writer’s first question after slaving away for months on that now perfect manuscript, that has recently become a self-published book and ebook. As most writers will agree I’m sure, writing is the easy part in today’s publishing market. Getting the book under potential reader’s noses is the difficult task. …

As social networking is predominately text driven, it really is a good idea to make sure your writing is up to an acceptable and readable standard. There’s nothing worse than reading a tweet, Google+ or Facebook entry or blog post that is full of errors. It really gives an impression to the reader that you are a either careless, …

If you’ve joined the self-publishing Kindle, Amazon, Smashwords author frenzy and you think the road ahead is paved with gold, money and unending wealth, do not pass go and head directly back to your day job. There are just so many writers, almost writers and hardly writers at all now all clamouring for every reader’s …

For those of you who are scribblers, do you ever stop and consider what verbs you are using? Or do you think about what verbs you are using? It is easy to surmise that verbs as grammatical, but I prefer to perceive them as vocabulary. I receive many emails each day and I get a load more …

As a young apprentice lithographer, I recall the first book I was entrusted to print. It was a book published through a small publisher in Perth Western Australia, The Fremantle Arts Society. The book was A Fortunate Life by Albert Facey. Hardly destined to be a bestseller as the first print run was 1000 copies. …

Calling myself The Vandal was a bit of fun many moons ago that probably arose as a result of an excess of cheap red wine. A joke about my bad spelling and a chronic yet imaginative use of the grammatical negative. In such a state, it was easy to think that I had some ability with words. …

Really, enough fun, frivolity and feel good stories. I think it may well be time for me to delve into my black side and write a book about the ugly side of life. With evil characters all hell bent on death, gore, mayhem and destruction and possibly tainted with a mild dose of Hannibal Lecter M.D. …

Publishing a book has gone from exceedingly difficult, frustrating or expensive to just about free and an absolute cinch in almost the blink of an eye. The traditional agency model is under threat and vanity publishers are looking for where their next buck will come from as independent or self publishing has suddenly become front …

Dialogue tags must be the most written about and discussed structure in a writer’s grammatical toolbox. One that I haven’t mentioned before as I didn’t want to join the long and probably never ending debate. However, after getting close to finishing reading the third Harry Potter book, (yes I know I’m a bit late in …

When I formed my publishing company (Portmanteau Press LLC), I was shocked and appalled that I received the following question from numerous people (my CPA, the lady at the bank, my mother!): what is a portmanteau? Now, I feel the need to educate people about this wonderful language device. Being that Derek’s blog is called …

It’s a horrid thing to say but authors are having to become their own sales and marketing department these days. I’m not just talking about independent authors here as even those represented by agents and publishers, big and small, are out there now doing their impression of a good old fashioned ‘Snake Oil Salesman’. (Yes …

After finally and begrudgingly accepting ebooks as a fact of life now, I though I would do a little investigation into the free ebook market. Now by free I don’t mean free as in the price being free. I mean free as in that a copyrighted book has been pirated. A very cursory search (less …

When I was little I read, I read a lot. I didn’t care what I was reading, so long as I could turn the pages and devour a good story, I was happy. And then, I don’t remember when exactly, I somehow came by the notion that to show I was intellectual I should be …

Have you noticed that ‘10 Tips and Tricks’ has become one of the most searched for phrases on the Internet? From Apple to Zombies, there are tips and tricks for all manner of topics and interests. Well, in keeping with my tradition of avoiding anything remotely ‘current’ I must remind you firstly that I never …

I’m not much for giving advice to other writers, however, as I develop my next book I’ve fallen into a comforting habit I find remarkably useful in bringing characters to life. And if your not a writer its simply fun if you have nothing to do. People watching. I consider it unofficial anthropology, a beloved …

Since the emergence of the internet, online publishing and the plethora of books now available to us in the world of books, a second disturbing breed has emerged – the literary snob. While thanks to small press and self publishing, it is true that the vast majority of published authors these days far outweigh the …

Late on a Thursday afternoon I was scheduled to have a root canal. I’d never had one before and was hardly looking forward to the experience. Turns out it really wasn’t bad at all. Next day I was leaving campus when I encountered a colleague coming in and we got to talking and she said, …

I was reading Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ for about the unteenth time recently and it occurred to me that although a great read and full of wisdom, it might be a bit long for those who want to get a book out super fast on Amazon. So I thought I might offer a helping hand …

In days not so long past – well only a year or two ago – being an indie author meant getting your books printed and shipped and then flogging them as best you could at local book stores, coffee shops, tearooms, markets, writer groups or evenTupperware parties. It was hard going, but you got out …

For me, May signals a time to focus on the business side of writing. With my semester winding down here in America, I have the time to research markets, create spread sheets—in other words, abandon the fluidity and near haphazardness that so often characterizes my creative writing. Looking for opportunities, I checked out the May/June …

Like a rocket landing in the eye of a full moon, steampunk as a genre has become a recent force in the publishing world. Books such as The Windup Girl, Behemoth, and Corsets & Clockwork are available on Kindle and Nook. There is a large following, as well – Steampunk conventions are popping up in …

While reading a news article recently about dairy farming, I had one of those odd thought moments. It seemed to me that milk and words suffer a similar fate in the marketing process. They are both products that are at the very bottom of a long production chain. This means that the selling price for …

My habitually horrid habit continues unfortunately. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to avoid adorable alliterations. It all started with mild mannered Milo Moon of course, and I blame him entirely for my current irresponsible idiosyncrasy. Then of course I ventured into the unbelievably unknown universe of February The Fifth and …

I must say from the outset that I’m not a great believer in the writer’s block myth. There always seems to be something that needs jotting down, so what’s the fuss. This said, there are days when I find it difficult to get enough words in the bank, but this is probably when I’m suffering …

Collocations are a great idea really. No need to think too hard, and they make it so simple to become just another one of run of the mill. Some of the all time favourite collocations include ‘completely satisfied’, ‘excruciating pain’, ‘burst into tears’ and ‘vaguely remember’. Then there are the colourful such as ‘red Ferrari’, …

This simplest way to send a reader sound asleep is by being repetitive. Not only by repetitive elements in the story, but by grammatical repetition. This is an easy trap to fall into, particularly in dialogue. Even four or five uses of ‘he said or she said’ will be enough to induce reader slumber. A …

You have to know your main character almost as well as you know yourself. If not, your story will be missing a vital ingredient. With all the resources that are available on the internet, it is very easy for an aspiring writer, to be overwhelmed with all the information. There is so much advice from …

One important decision to make before writing your first book, or second or third for that matter, is to decide if it will be written in the first person or third person. I was typical of most when I wrote my first book. It was about me, so naturally it was written in the first …

The book publishing industry has been turned on its head in recent years with the advent of easily accessible and economical choices enabling authors to self-publish their works. Added to this has been the rapid increase in the popularity of e-books. The opportunities have never been better for writers to engage with readers, showcase their …

No mattir what tipe of wryter you are, one of teh most painful aspects is that if proofreading. Even the shortest text con contain typos, grummar errors and missspellings. It as no surprise too know than editing and proofreading and entire novel can take moths of exacting work. However, it is in teh shorter texts …

Inside is the opposite if outside. Logically. So, the opposite of hangover must be hangunder then? And the positive of disappointed is appointed? The ‘un’ and ‘um’ prefixes are easier though. Simply a matter of sound, phonetics and clear logic. An umbrella can’t be an umbrella now can it? And umbridge is not a hesitation in crossing …

While looking through the vast number topics I have covered on my blog, I came across a remarkable omission. A check of my blog tags at around the letter V, revealed a horrendous gap. So I did a search of my entire blog and discovered that I had in fact mentioned, only in passing mind …

The recent announcement of the sale of the Huffington Post to AOL should make every writer cringe at what internet entrepreneurs will, and are doing the the art of writing. They have created a market where writers are encouraged to write simply for the pleasure and to gain exposure. This would be all well and …

Well, I know the title of this post is a nasty take on a famous expression, but in essence it is true. With the changes in publishing and the advent of self-publishing, online books, e-books and all manner of electronic reading possibilities, anyone and everyone can become an author in less than thirty minutes. Simply …

At last! A day free of any commitments. Free from doctor’s appointments, veterinary check ups, shopping, cleaning, teaching and errand running. Free of students, lesson plans and check out chicks. Free of driving, being somewhere and forever checking my iPhone calendar for the things I forgot I had forgotten. A free day. So of course …

I have been asked a number of times recently if being a writer is a rewarding activity. Well, this got me thinking and I’ve decided to do what all good bloggers do. Make a five reason list. So let’s get right on with it. Anonymity. Being a writer gives you the freedom to go anywhere …

One of the great passions I have in my writing, apart from childish alliterations, double negatives and avoidance of long complicated sentences, is inventing names for my characters. Especially the ones that pop into the story for only a chapter or two. With my main characters I use a little decorum and give them half …

The word bitterness has some wonderfully colourful synonyms. Try these for size. Resentment, rancour, indignation, grudge, spite, sullenness, sourness, churlishness, moroseness, petulance, pique, peevishness; acrimony, hostility, malice, virulence, antipathy, antagonism, enmity, animus, friction, vitriol, hatred, loathing, venom, poison, nastiness, ill feeling, ill will and of course, bad blood. As a writer these words inspire my …

I came across this interesting article on sentence variety for writers. Thought it was worth sharing with you. Hints on Variety Try an occasional question, exclamation, or command. A question can be especially useful at the beginning of a paragraph where you want to summarise quickly what preceded and then launch into what will now …