Beware Of Indefinite Pronouns

I found this short text today, in my little folder of long forgotten things that I have written about. I can’t recall when I wrote it, but I know why I did. Using too many indefinite pronouns is a very habit to get into as a writer, but using nothing else is so much more fun! In the beginning there was nothing, until something arrived, and everything changed. For some reason, something always creates a problem, and so it was to be again. Nothing remained the same thereafter, as something had altered everything. While no one knew who or how, someone had change the balance of everything and anything. Then, as everyone was busy with something, no one noticed that …

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The Tsunami Pizza Recipe

I haven’t posted a recipe in ages, so here we go to fix my carelessness. I had the idea of waves landing on a beach, but I have to credit my wife with exaggerating my wave idea into a tsunami. So, how do you cook a Tsunami Pizza? First, preheat your oven to as high as it goes, but from the bottom element only. I love using pizza dough made from spelt. The flavour of this old variety of wheat adds something special to the taste and crunchiness of the crust. So, once you have the dough out flat and slightly warmed on a hot tray, cover liberally with a tangy tomato sauce and sprinkle some dried Italian herbs and …

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Something For TEFL Teachers and ESL Students

For those who have read my blog for some time, you will know that apart from writing and blogging, my main vocation is as a CELTA English Teacher, and also that a number of my posts over the years have been about teaching and the English language, and about its richness and at times, quirkiness. When I looked back at how many posts I had written about English grammar, vocabulary and ESL (English as a Second Language), I thought it might be time to do something more productive with the information that is now hiding deep in my long list of posts, and with the ideas that are still so often bouncing around in my head about language and teaching. …

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Twitter Has Egg On Its Face

I love Twitter, and have been a user since 2009. However, one facet of Twitter has become an extreme annoyance for me – automatically created user accounts, or bots. They are created by a software program and user accounts can be created by the thousands. They serve no useful purpose other than to spread spam, or in the last couple of years, to be sold as fake followers. It only takes a quick scan of the followers of any popular celebrity Twitter account to see that a huge proportion of followers are fake. In the case of Lady Gaga, it has been estimated that 71% of her followers are fake. What does this say about the credibility of Twitter, whose …

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Fun English Language Tongue Twisters For ESL Learners

All languages have silly little irregularities, but English specialises in making pronunciation irregularities a challenge for ESL learners. Try to get your tongue around these examples of English pronunciation. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9. When shot at, …

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Louis – The Life of a Real Spy

As a child and a young teenager he would tell me stories and mysterious tales of far off lands and people. Singing strange songs in mysterious languages. At the time, I had not heard of the word enigma, but now I know my friend Louis was exactly that. Louis never lied to me. Only telling me what he wanted me to know, but somehow always managing to slide around a part of a story that would have possibly necessitated at least a white lie. At around eleven years old, I clearly remember asking him with a child’s innocence if he had ever killed anyone. He replied that the subject of death should never be discussed with people who did not …

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The Glothic Tales Trilogy : For those who have wondered why things are as they are …

The Glothic Tales Ever since that fateful decision was made to descend from the trees, stand on two legs and eat fewer bananas, humans have looked back on the decision with regret. It was at that very moment in time, when we began feeling that we were being controlled. By who, why and how is today, just as much of a mystery as it was then. As a species, we have lived our entire existence under constant control; by lords of the manor, governments, banks, moneylenders, faceless men in strange brotherhoods and manufactures of shiny objects that go beep and keep us amused for hours on end. The one unsolvable conundrum though, has been who controls those who control us? …

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