I know everyone in the world has an opinion about the Apple iPhone 4 now. There is no place to hide from the daily scribblings of attention seeking journalists and bloggers. Added to this cacophony of words are incessant mentions on all the social networking sites plus local newspapers and talk back radio. Even television is no escape as every character in every program is using an iPhone. The only real escape is to watch 60s repeats.

Now if you read and listen to all this exposure, propaganda, marketing and twiddle twaddle you will know two things. One is that the Apple iPhone 4 is exceptionally cool and if you don’t have one you are sub-human and will be ostracised from the human race and deported to a far off planet on the next twenty light year flight. Number two is that it doesn’t work.

One would think that this last piece of knowledge would dissuade even the most ardent iPhone devotee from buying this version. Common sense would scream that a wait of a few months would be wise. The threat of being deported to a far off Appleless planet will not affect you just because you want to wait a little while until the damn thing can make telephone calls. Even worse is that you will have to order one and wait an incredibly long time to actually get one of these not-working-as-it-should iPhones.

But no. The threat of being labeled as uncool because one only possess an out of fashion iPhone 3GS and haven’t been given a free bumper case will drive everyone to their local iPhone provider and plead for their lives and reputations for an ‘Antennagate’ iPhone 4.

What a crazy world we now live in.

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During a short trip to my local shopping centre this morning, I witnessed first hand the frenzy that is Apple iPhone 4 insanity.

Now as some of you may know, I live in a small village on the quiet shores of Lake Geneva and our excitement usually comes in the form of hearing the sound of cow bells in the morning. But not today. A queue had formed by early morning leading to the now guarded doors of our local Swisscom shop. The length of the queue defied our last census, as I am sure there were more people in the queue than actually live here.

I would have liked to publish a real photo of the event, but the number of people indicated to me that many must have taken a day off work to join the maddeningly long wait and I didn’t want to incriminate them with their bosses who were probably under the impression that they were all at aunty Trudi’s funeral in Geneva.

Having heard all the stories about ‘antennagate’ and all number of frightening rumours about the iPhone 4, it seems no one has been deterred. It doesn’t seem to matter if it actually works or not. It’s a new iPhone, so therefore it is a must have for everyone in our village.

Even though I am a self confessed Apple addict, I will wait a while. I don’t like queues all that much. And as it takes thirty minutes to say hello, and another thirty to say goodbye in our area, this morning’s queue could take months to be cordially processed.

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Steve Jobs has done it. Again. He has wilfully thrown my budgeting process into absolute chaos. No sooner have I finished shelling out for my must have iPad, he chucks a new iPhone into the swamp that are my finances.

There is a silver lining however. Not living in the US gives me a little more time to plan ahead for poverty in the name of Apple addiction. While our US friends have to join a queue almost immediately to satisfy the edict of he who is Steve, at least us non US folks have a little bit of time up our sleeves to at least wipe a month or two’s payments off of our Apple designated credit card before the latest Apple must have is available. (Not entering the cash debate here.)

While I know I really do not need video on my phone, and would probably hence never use video editing, and the practicality of Facetime only over wi-fi is really a non-event, and with my eyesight this new fangled retina display will serve no useful purpose for me, I know I just have to have a new iPhone 4G.

The reason is so simple. I have an iPhone and it is two years old. So I must now obey he who is Steve and make my regular donation to the new mega-monolithic-market-dominator. Just as I did in ancient times when I just had to shell out for Windows, Windows Me, Windows 95, Windows XP, Windows Windows every two years.

Apples, Windows, Whatever. It’s only money.



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With the release of the Apple iPhone 4 and iOS4, Steve Jobs has once again convinced the entire planet that they now need this new wonder device in their daily lives.

And any wonder why. This little miracle gadget can not only record video in super duper HD quality, but it can also edit video as well. Imagine, a whole video editing suite in the palm of your hand. Combined with its forward and backward cameras this little baby will surely make everyone a film director. I just can’t wait for the 3D capable version.

Then there is the high resolution screen that is so bright that Apple may have to consider adding a health warning and advise users to wear sunglasses while using the device. A gyroscope has been fitted to the gizzards of the iPhone 4, so it will now have the ability to stand, balanced on one edge for eternity. Incredible.

Then there is Face Time. A truly wonderful idea so long as you have a friend with a new iPhone 4 too, and you can both can find a hi-speed wi-fi connection at the very same time. Very ‘Jetsons’ ? Well, sort of.

The biggest new feature without a doubt is that the new iPhone 4 will have iAd. A great new innovation that will bombard users with incredibly credible non-stop in your face advertising 24/7 live in ALL applications. A truly novel idea and an experience I will just be drooling for until I can get my hands on this little baby.

Oh yes. The secret hidden feature I promised in the title I hear you ask.

While it is unconfirmed, it is believed that the new iPhone 4 will have the capability to make AND receive telephone calls. Complete with automatic drop-out and a brand new feature called ‘No Service When You Absolutely Need It’ or NSWYANI as it has been so cleverly named in beta versions.

To access this hidden feature, look for an inconspicuous green app button hidden in the bottom left hand corner of your home screen. Then press it and hope.

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What is it about the iPhone? I have had my little darling for more than a year now, and I am still in love.

I know more words have been written about the iPhone in the last couple of years than almost any other news worthy item. So, I am not going to comment on anything technical or geeky. It is just a fascination for me, as to why I am still in love. Yes, I'm a gadget freak, but no other gadget has held my affection for this long before. So what it about the iPhone?

For me, it is the shopping list. I use this little app more than anything else. Ticking off my items as I toss them in the caddy. Cool! The alarm. So cool. Waking to the sound of soothing harps each morning. And as it is by my bedside, it had received a full charge overnight, so as to be ready for my new day. Then there is the multiple level backgammon that keeps me occupied for hours. Notes? Did I mention that I can make a note of a bright idea in either text or voice?

Oh I forgot to mention maps. Now I never get lost. Email, SMS, MMS, and as a bonus it's a great bedside lamp when I need a little visit during the night.

Photos of my grand kids. Always ready to show off to my friends. Train schedules. New York Times. Live cricket scores. I love the Zippo lighter. Impresses everyone. The Star Wars light saber. Oh so cool. Crappy camera, but then I am one who loves one button photography, so it actually suits me fine.

It's a remote control for my iTunes too! Don't have to move from the sofa. Great stuff. It's just so cool my iPhone.

The only part that is a little strange for me is that …… I rarely use it as a telephone. Strange that.

I still jump in fright on the very rare occasions it actually rings!


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