Not everyone had a seven times Formula 1 champion living just down the road. My wife is even closer as his house is right opposite where she works. In the Swiss tradition though, we let Schumi lead his life and don’t bother him if we stumble over him when shopping on a Saturday morning.

The news that he is now confirmed to come out of retirement after three years and once again race in Formula 1 was a very big surprise. Us locals had envisaged Shumi enjoying his retirement here along with a few of his predecessors. However we all really wish him the best of luck on his return to the track and hope he wins another title or two.

Why? Because he pays tax here and that is just wonderful for our little community. Since Shumi retired, the flowers in our round-a-bouts just haven’t been as abundant and stunning as they were when he was earning mega-bucks. You need to understand that here in Switzerland our governments have for a long time offered, well, let’s say financial incentives for the rich and famous to relocate to Switzerland.

For the rich, this is a good deal financially as well as socially as us Swiss are well used to living around actors, tennis players, Formula 1 drivers, rock musicians and any other sort of rich or famous celebrity. We just leave them alone, and happily accept their tax to make our roads, schools, gardens, kindergartens and bus services so much better. This is on top of the fact that they help reduce our own individual taxes. Not a bad deal all ways round.

So, go, go, go Schumi! Win every race and bring all your loot back home.

Derek's Vandal Blog
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Even though we live in an age of perpetual change, re-adjustment, advancement and technological wonders, one thing stays wonderfully fixed, stable and set in concrete.

And that is that any artistic endeavour is only fully rewarded and recognised when the creator is fully dead and buried. There has even been a phrase coined to describe this. It’s called a ‘Roy Orbison Career Move’. Why? Because poor old Roy, was good. In fact I think he had the most wonderful voice. However the world really only caught on and started spending money on his recordings after he died.

He joined a long list of artists who earned more money in the year after they died than during their whole career. Elvis achieved this feat in only a few months! I recently witnessed the Michael Jackson marketing department move into full swing a few seconds after the poor darling dropped dead.

What about painters. I’m sure Vincent Van Gogh would never have dreamed of the money one of his paintings is worth today. Picasso gave away many of his works that are now priceless. Andy Warhol had a small cult following. Until he up and expired.

Hemingway has probably sold more books in the last decade than he saw sold in his lifetime. Or is he now one of those lucky authors whose copyright has expired and now has his volumes available for free on the internet in a e-book format?

So if you seek fame or fortune, or both. The best thing you can do obviously, is drop dead! You won’t know anything about it, but your offspring and marketers will be very happy with your passing.

Derek's Vandal Blog
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I had one of those magical MLK moments last night. One of those crystal clear dream moments when every thread of my illogical thoughts caramalised into a fudge like state of total and believable reality. The kind of moment that is absolutely momentous when hatched with your head buried under a pillow. One of those moments of insight that is almost knife like in its cutting accuracy. I had a dream.

I had a dream that my hypothetical and spiritualistic dream like trance state of transformation from mere mortal to respected Author, Songwriter, Poet, Idiot had been accepted my mainstream literary agents and publishers of the world as the absolute ‘in’ genre of the twenty first century. That in place of poverty and unemployment queues, I walked on water and performed literary miracles at my book signings. I had a dream.

Not only this, but I could also part seas and restore world peace at the same time as solving global warming and discovering a cure for the common cold. Oh, and leprosy too. That I had refused an MBE from the Queen due to me being a contentious objector to British colonialism and also refusing a Nobel Prize for literature as I always believed inventing dynamite was a seriously bad idea.

The clarity of dreams is what has changed the world. So many of our great thinkers have woken in the morning with earth shatteringly great notions and had the courage and audacity to implement their far fetched dreams on the world. Without these dreamers we would never have had the yo yo, the hula hoop or longitude. Shag pile carpet, flaired jeans and pasteurisation would never have seen the light of day. We would never have heard of Alice Cooper, Boy George or Beethoven.

Yes. You must agree that the world has been bettered by dreamers. People with the courage of their dream convictions and an unyielding drive to turn their pillow thoughts into reality. That is why I ask you not to scoff at my dream. For me it is a portent of what is to come. A reality that is only a simple horizon or two away. I had a dream.

Unfortunately though.

All came crashing back to stark reality with the sound of my alarm ringing on its ninth snooze setting this afternoon. This was in addition to the distinct sound of my wife’s voice making almost audible remarks about some lazy sod she happened to know and grunting brutally between the sound of dishes being launched into the kitchen sink. My MLK moment was lost……...for another day.


Derek's Vandal Blog
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A word of warning!

If you have been following my blog, this story is probably worth a pass.

If you haven't been here before you're in luck. Why? Because today I want to do an update of my new career. That's the one I have now because the last one died an awful, bloody and painful death in May this year. Similar in fact to the one before that. Another career that burst into flames overnight and self combusted in a puff of smoke before my eyes. I think I have set the scene for your here.

I am old enough to have had a few careers implode in dramatic fashion, so at the unfashionable age of fifty something, I decided to take the bull by the horns, ditch conventional wisdom, fly in the face of reality and become a multi-media-mega-star in the traditional manner of inducing an over night success for myself. Why? Well, after the huge number of rejections I received from applications for your run of the mill 9 to 5 job, I had to come to grips with the fact that maybe I was too old to be consider a human resource!

So, instead of suffering bouts of depression with every rejection letter, telephone call or email, I decided to do something where rejection would at least be fun! So here I am. Author, songwriter, poet, guitarist, singer and general day dreaming lay about. Now millions of people can reject me every day, and I don't even know or care. Much less suffering on my part. I am left to day dream in a protected bubble.

That's not to say I have not had some small snippets of success. So many in fact, I can make a list of achievements.

1. Earnings to date from Google Adsense: $0.90 (Payable when I reach $100.00)
2. Earnings from music royalties: $2.30 (Payable when I reach $100.00)
3. First book on sale here at Amazon. Sales unknown. Earnings report awaited.
4. Three CDs on sale here at Amazon. Sales unknown. Earnings report awaited.
5. Second book approved today for sale on Amazon in two weeks.
6. Third book almost ready. Probably late November.
7. Learned to use Twitter. (That was hard!)
8. Now know what html is.
9. Started writing my fourth book.
10. Improved my ironing, cleaning, dusting and shopping skills.

So there you have it. A remarkable list of achievements I believe in such a short period of time. Callback in a few months to check my progress.

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