My recent post gave you a small example of what is expected of an advanced learner of English. So today I thought I would up the difficulty level by giving you a sample of the expectations of the proficiency level. So have fun seeing how good your English really is.

For questions 1-15, read the text below and think of the word which best fits each space.

Global English

Global English exists (0) ....as...... a political and cultural reality. Many misguided theories attempt to explain why the English language should have succeeded internationally, whilst (1) .......... have not. Is it because there is (2) .......... inherently logical or beautiful about the structure of English? Does its simple grammar (3) .......... it easy to learn? Such ideas are misconceived. Latin was once a major international language, despite having a complicated grammatical structure, and English also presents learners (4) .......... all manner of real difficulties, (5) .......... least its spelling system. Ease (6) .......... learning, therefore, has little to (7) .......... with it. (8) .......... all, children learn to speak their mother tongue in approximately the same period of time, (9) .......... of their language.

English has spread not so (10) .......... for linguistic reasons, but rather because it has often found (11) .......... in the right place, at the right time. (12) .......... the 1960s, two developments have contributed to strengthening this global status. Firstly, in a number of countries, English is now used in addition to national or regional languages. As (13) .......... as this, an electronic revolution has taken (14) ........ . It is estimated that (15) .......... the region of 80% of worldwide electronic communication is now in English.

For questions 26-31, think of one word only which can be used appropriately in all three sentences.

16 It is very difficult to fully ......................... certain pieces of jazz music until you’ve heard them a good few times.

Although I’m always ready to lend a hand, Marta never really seems to ......................... the things I do for her.

Given the market for decorative antiques, I’d say that the value of that beautiful vase is set to ......................... considerably in the next few years.

17 James is able to ......................... an enormous amount of factual information in his head.

Although the old house has been completely renovated, care has been taken to
......................... as many of the original features as possible.

When you’re buying outdoor adventure clothing, the thing to look for is material that does not ......................... a lot of moisture.

18 With less than a minute of the football match to go, Phil managed to ......................... the ball into the back of the net.

I think the best course of action would be to jump into the car and ......................... for Bristol as soon as possible.

Louise has been asked to ......................... an investigation into what went wrong on the night of the accident.

19 Initially, few companies saw any potential in computers designed for the ......................... rather than the office environment.

Although extremely independent, and well able to look after themselves, cats are generally classified as ......................... animals.

Over the years, the proportion of foreign stories in this newspaper has declined as people have become more engrossed in ......................... issues.

20 The chess champion held off a serious ......................... from his younger opponent in the last match of the tournament.

The chairman of the meeting seemed to regard questions from the audience as some kind of ......................... to his authority.

You’ll find some aspects of the job a real ......................... , but we’re confident that you can cope.

21 Melanie practised her lines each day after school, getting increasingly nervous as the date of her audition ......................... even closer.

Although Tim had been in the lead for most of the race, as they reached the final bend, Graham ......................... level and threatened to overtake him.

On an impulse, Laurie ......................... all the money out of his bank account and went to London, intending to spend every last penny of it.

These examples came from the official Cambridge Certificate of Proficiency in English Handbook 2002.

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One of my favourite Cambridge examination components was key word transformation . It truly was a test of a student’s knowledge of English at both First Certificate and Advanced levels.

However it is also a great exercise for accomplished writers. I still love doing them as it fine tunes my writing skills by having to constantly search for alternatives.

So just for fun, why don’t you see how you go with these examples.










For Questions 1-12, complete the second sentence so that it has a similar meaning to the first sentence, using the word given. Do not change the word given. You must use between three and six words, including the words given.


1 This is your third warning from me this week about being late for work.
NOT
This is the third time this week I……………………………be late for work.

2 I think Anita must have gone on a diet recently because she's quite slim now.
HAS
It looks as…………………………….dieting because she's quite slim now.

3 I always hated pasta when 1 was a child but now I cook it regularly.
USE
I…………………………pasta when I was a child but now 1 cook it regularly.

4 I went to have my own look at the apartment and 1 couldn't understand why my
friend wanted us to live in such a depressing place!
SEE
Having………………………………..myself, I couldn't understand why my friend
wanted us to live in such a depressing place!

5 We wanted to continue our mountain trek but the weather was too bad.
LIKE
We……………………………on with our mountain trek but the weather was too bad.

6 I want to inform you that I was not satisfied with the standard of service in your
hotel.
EXPRESS
I would……………………………………with the standard of service in your hotel.
7 I wanted to stay in last night but my flatmate insisted we go out.

SOONER
I……………………………………..in last night but my flatmate insisted we go out.
8 Didn't you want me to tell the staff about your resignation?
RATHER
Would………………………………………the staff know about your resignation?

9 I didn't stop worrying about the wild animals until we were safe inside camp.
ONLY
It was……………………………………………………….safety of camp that I
Stopped worrying about the wild animals.

10 Steve's one topic of conversation is the time he spent as a pilot.
EVER
The time he spent as a pilot …………………………………………………..about.

11 After arriving at the airport, we realised that our passports were still at home.
UNTIL
It…………………………………………………at the airport that we realised our
passports were still at home.

12 When Michael's boat began to sink, he sent a signal for help.
DID
When Michael's boat began to sink, what ……………………………………..a signal
for help.


Now please don’t ask for answers! You are all fine writers of English.


These examples came from the Practise English blog. More examples can be found by searching for CAE and FCE Key Word Transformations in any search engine.

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I came across this interesting article on sentence variety for writers. Thought it was worth sharing with you.


Hints on Variety
Try an occasional question, exclamation, or command. A question can be especially useful at the beginning of a paragraph where you want to summarise quickly what preceded and then launch into what will now follow. "And what were the results of this Proclamation of 1763?" This reminds your readers where you are in your discussion — Ah yes, that's what we're talking about — and prepares them for what comes next.
A command or directive provides direction and energy. Readers react to being grabbed by the collar and told what to do. It's hard to ignore, if not to resist. Tone is terribly important here. A bit of well-intentioned cajoling is usually more useful than in-your-face shouting. "Learning the principle of parallel structure can be the most important thing you learn in writing class. Learn it now!"
Try beginning an occasional sentence with something other than the normal subject-followed-by-verb order of things. Begin with a modifying clause or participial phrase instead. "After Pontiac's insurrection led to the Proclamation of 1763, a brief period of peace ensued. Having led his people in a successful resistance, Pontiac was astonished to discover how Indian tribal differences and individualism began, instantly, to erode their base of unified power."
Try beginning a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, nor, for, yet, or, so). Many writers have had it pounded into their skulls that if you begin a sentence with and or but that sentence should have been linked (instead) to the previous sentence in a compound structure. It goes against the grain to begin a sentence with and or but. But give it a try. A sentence beginning with a conjunction will almost always call attention to itself and it will always serve primarily as a connective device. If that's what you want, use it — but not so often that the effect gets out of control and becomes self-defeating.
Try using a variety of basic sentence structures. We can categorise sentences into four main types, depending on the number and type of clauses they contain:

Simple (one independent clause):
We drove from Connecticut to Tennessee in one day.
Compound (more than one independent clause):
We were exhausted, but we arrived in time for my father's birthday party.
Complex (one independent clause and at least one dependent clause):
Although he is now 79 years old, he still claims to be 65.
Compound-complex (more than one independent clause and at least one dependent clause):
After it was all over, my dad claimed he knew we were planning something, but we think he was really surprised.

Source: The Guide to Grammar and Writing

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When teaching English writing, one of the most common mistakes I came across was the use of the comma. On asking my students why they had placed a comma in a certain position, they often justified it by saying that it was for a pause for breath. Well when we read we don't need to stop for breath so there must be some other reasons. Unlike some Latin languages, English is quite frugal when it comes to the use of the comma. I have used the following guide when I have been in doubt.

Quick Guide to Commas

1. Use commas to separate independent clauses when they are joined by any of these seven coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet.

2. Use commas after introductory a) clauses, b) phrases, or c) words that come before the main clause.

3. Use a pair of commas in the middle of a sentence to set off clauses, phrases, and words that are not essential to the meaning of the sentence. Use one comma before to indicate the beginning of the pause and one at the end to indicate the end of the pause.

4. Do not use commas to set off essential elements of the sentence, such as clauses beginning with that (relative clauses). That clauses after nouns are always essential. That clauses following a verb expressing mental action are always essential.

5. Use commas to separate three or more words, phrases, or clauses written in a series.

6. Use commas to separate two or more coordinate adjectives that describe the same noun. Be sure never to add an extra comma between the final adjective and the noun itself or to use commas with non-coordinate adjectives.

7. Use a comma near the end of a sentence to separate contrasted coordinate elements or to indicate a distinct pause or shift.

8. Use commas to set off phrases at the end of the sentence that refer back to the beginning or middle of the sentence. Such phrases are free modifiers that can be placed anywhere in the sentence without causing confusion.

9. Use commas to set off all geographical names, items in dates (except the month and day), addresses (except the street number and name), and titles in names.

10. Use a comma to shift between the main discourse and a quotation.

11. Use commas wherever necessary to prevent possible confusion or misreading.


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Did you K-now that the silent K in words like K-nee and K-nickK-nack was actually pronounced in Old English. For some reason however, people could not get the K-nack of pronouncing the K as well as the N. So the K sound got K-nocked off.

People got all K-notted up and tongue tied when they tried to say what they K-new about K-nives and K-nitting. The K-now-it-alls of the time tried to keep the K, but even the K-nights were dropping their K’s so it was the death K-nell of the pronounced K.

Many of the K-naves had dropped it well before, as they K-nuckled down to K-neeling for the kings and queens as they just got their tongues in K-nots.

Even scholars who were thirsty for K-nowledge starting dropping their Ks as did the bakers when they K-neaded their bread. All the Ks were taken off door K-nobs at around the same time. However, nobody really K-nows why. Maybe they were tired of K-nocking on the door with their K-nuckles. Who K-nows?

Over time every little K-noll had its K removed. Even today, we have turned up our noses at K-napsacks because we couldn’t get the K-nack of using the word.

So now we K-now that the redundant K disappeared with the K-nights in shining armour. Never to be heard of again.

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There are many forms of English, but one that really takes some learning is true ‘Aussie’ English. I found this wonderful tongue in cheek test for new Australians in my old teaching file. How much of this can you understand?

Australian Citizenship Test 

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the arse'?

2. What is a 'bloody little beauty'?

3. Are these terms related: 'chuck a sickie'; 'chuck a spaz'; 'chuck a U-ey'?

4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy, the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies.and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'

5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

6. Complete the following sentences:
a) If the van's rockin' don't bother ...?
b) You're going home in the back of a ...?
c) Fair crack of the ...?

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss 

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow.mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop, and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?

15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?

19. Who would you like to crack on to?

20. Who is the most Australian?:
a) Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson
b) John 'True Blue' Williamson
c) Kylie Minogue
d) Warnie

21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

22. What does "sinkin piss at a mate's joint and gettin para" mean?

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It's fun to learn a new language. But sometimes trying to use direct word for word translation can result in some very funny expressions!





Private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hotel bedroom, Japan: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Doctor's surgery, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN
YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Zoo, Hungary: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Resaurant, Nairobi: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN.
TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Men's lavatory, Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

What more can I say?

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The most common sound when we make in English is called the Schwa. It represents up to 15% of our utterances. However, so few people have heard of it. It’s the sound we make when we say ‘cup of tea’, and really say ‘cuppa tea’. It’s this little ‘uh’ sound we use in this example that is the schwa and in phonetics an upside down 'e' is used to represent the schwa. Now have fun finding this common but very small sound.

A curvaceous young phoneme called schwa,
Said "I never feel strong. It's bizarre!
I'm retiring and meek,
And I always sound weak,
But in frequency counts – I'm the star!"



Try to identify all the schwas in the following text. There are at least 40.

The first time I and my brother were allowed to go shopping alone was a complete disaster. I think I was about ten and he was seven. We usually got on very well together, but he was in a bad mood that day and I suppose I was a bit nervous about having the responsibility of looking after him in town. Anyway, he disappeared almost as soon as we got off the bus and I spent about three quarters of an hour looking for him. When I eventually found him, I was so relieved that I didn't remember to get angry.

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One of the most common word forms in English is ‘ing’. Sometimes referred to as the gerund, present participle or progressive form. It has such a multitude of uses that a single label just cannot be affixed to these amazing three letters. So broad is their use that Michael Swan prefers the simple label of the ‘ing form’ in his wonderful book Practical English Usage.

“I am wondering if that book is really that interesting. Having read the reviews, I may not be interested at all. But reading has always been my passion, so I will probably end up buying it anyway. Interestingly though, my friend is reading it and enjoying the story he told me. Amazing as it may seem, he lovingly cares for his books. Wrapping them in plastic and storing them under his bed. Boring huh?”

In this short example there are thirteen ‘ing’ words. Some are present participle and some are adjectives and adverbs. While some seem very difficult to grammatically label. Unless you define them as the gerund.

The gerund form comes form Latin, and in simple terms is a verbal noun. Or if you like, a verb that takes ‘ing’ and then inherits the properties of a noun.

“I like swimming.”

Now it is easy to see that swimming is a noun, in the same way as chocolate would be in this short sentence. In the first example, the words reading, buying, wrapping and boring are all examples of a verbal noun.

Another interesting point that I am interested in is how adjectives change with ‘ing’ and ‘ed’. So here we have the ‘ing’ form indicating that it is the object that is being described. “I think that is an interesting book.” When we change to the ‘ed’ form, it in now the subject that is being described. “I am interested in buying that book.”

Interesting isn’t it?

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The grammatical term of the present in English is a bit of trap. Yes it is a tense, but when combined with the four basic aspects of simple, progressive (or continuous), perfect and perfect progressive the concept of the present being the now type present goes out the window.

The confusion starts with the present simple. It is big. Really big. So big in fact that it swallows up the past and future and sticks them together.

For example. I am a man. Could I have been a woman last year? Or will I change into a woman in five years? No, it says I was a man, am a man, and will continue to be a man. Past, present and future.

To move aspects. I am reading a book. So, what right at this very moment? No. Perhaps I started reading the book three weeks ago, and still have ten chapters left to read. Perhaps I only read one chapter of an evening before going to bed. Again, past, present and future.

Or, I am having my tooth extracted. When. Today, tomorrow, next week. We don’t know, but it is definitely in the future.

To the perfect present. I have painted the kitchen. When exactly? Am I painting now? No, I finished some time ago. So here we have the present talking about the past. That’s logical isn’t it? The economy has collapsed. When? Now, or in the past?

I have been painting the kitchen. Add the progressive to the perfect and what do we have now? Past action again, but now there is a hint that I may not have completed it yet. Now there is a subtle difference to ponder.

So there we have it. The grammatical present in English. Quite a simple concept really. It is everything, every time and quite illogically huge.

To understand why the English present is different from many other languages, one needs to look at how English uses time in its tenses. Yes, as in most languages English has the three standard grammatical time periods of past, present and future. Where English differs, is that it needs another time period, and that is the time concept of now.

Now is infinitely small. It is gone before you know it has been. It is the very fine line of time that separates the past from the future. The present sits on top of this structure, and with a change of aspect, moves to the appropriate point in time.

Hence, the present in English is not just the present at all. It can be the past, the present or the future. Or, a combination. Simple really.

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English has one of the coolest, and at the same time most mysterious of verbs. Verbs to me are the motors that drive phrases and sentences. Normally, as in most languages, these verbs are one word. But in English we have the special and totally cool phrasal verb. Sometimes now called the multi-word verb.

They are normally two words, but sometimes can be longer. For example, to put up with, to look down on or to get on with. Common two word verbs are give up, get over, take up or get by. All very cool, and should need no thought or consideration when writing. Except!

Well, two things really that may need a second thought. In formal English, the use of phrasal verbs is not so cool. In fact they should be avoided at all costs if you wish to communicate in highly formal writing. A single word verb is much better. Job application letters, reports, letters of complaint and legal correspondence are examples of where they should be avoided. So to put up with would need to be replaced by to tolerate.

The second small matter is that of meaning. The phrasal verb to take out is a common example. But what meaning does it take? Consider these examples.

To take out the garbage. (to remove)
To take out my wife. (to invite)
To take out a loan. (to contract)
To take out a President. (to eliminate)

In these four examples we can see how context is the key. Try these.

To put a deposit down. (to secure)
To put a dog down. ( to kill)
To put your friend down. (to humiliate)

Then there are these.

To dine out.
To eat in.
To go away.
To get lost.

Just in these three sets of examples we have:

• A change of meaning depending on the object.
• A change of location for the object to between the verb.
• A verb that cannot take any object.

In fact there are seven kinds of phrasal verbs in English and it is one of the most complex grammatical points in our language. Somehow though, we find them highly communicative, and without them, advertisers would be lost for words. They are finding their way into other languages as well because of their simplicity in message. Another interesting point about them is that each year new phrasal verbs are added to our language. One of the most famous in recent times is the one attributed to Tony Blair. To sex up a dossier.

We are now so used to googling someone up aren’t we?
You can find more information here.

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The possessive adjective in English must be the most difficult to master. When is it a plain old adjective such as a car door? Or is that really a compound noun? When is it possessive as in a hair’s breadth? Is it a woman’s leg, or a woman leg? Or is at a chair’s leg, or a chair leg? There are many examples of this confusing English grammar point.

You would say the tree’s leaves, a butcher’s hook, a horse’s tail. Or you could say a bottle top, a door handle, a computer screen, day break, mountain top.

There is an obtuse grammatical explanation about ownership and being part of an object, but I won’t go there as the exception list is so long. I think in this case the exceptions really are the rule. The point about possessive adjectives is that they are impossible to learn by any process other than natural acquisition by repetitive collocation. By this I mean that by hearing and using a phase correctly enough times, it becomes automatic, and thus the error is corrected. For learners of English, this can be very frustrating.

I have often heard it said that English is a relatively easy language to learn. In many ways I agree with this. However I would have to say that it is as difficult as any language to master. While having no grammatical gender or accordance of singular and plural adjectives, it does however have a grammatical and lexical complexity stemming from its multiple roots in German, French, Latin and Old English but to name a few. An example of this is the word blonde, or blond. I stand to be corrected, but I believe this to be the only English adjective that changes with the gender of the noun. A relic of French grammar.

The challenges of English grammar are a daily dilemma for experienced writers of English. Spelling, punctuation, vocabulary, collocation and tense all offer a wonderfully diverse set of rules, uses, exception, variants and accepted new forms. When did you last see the word whom, and who remembers how to use it correctly? When did it become accepted to finish a sentence with a preposition? I am pleased though that splitting the infinitive is still not acceptable.

English has the largest vocabulary of any living language, and grows at a rate of approximately five thousand words every year. It is now well over one million words. It is one of the richest, most commonly used and evolving languages in the world. This however, makes the task of using it correctly a challenge for all of us who work with our incredible language.

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“I am called Sylvie, and we are three in our family, and during two weeks we have been in Spain taking a wonderful holiday. We were very interested to see the bull fighting and we had a lovely weather all the time we were there. I am the only child in my family, but my father and mother are my nicest friends so I am not very much lonely. When we came back from Spain to our home in France we realised how much we had profited from our holiday.

Normally we must to return to work on Monday. Our holiday was less long this year, but we hope we can have a more long holiday next year.”

After teaching English in Europe for many years, I have become accustomed to what is now being generally described as European English. More appropriately I believe it is simply second or third language proficiency. However, with latin influences being strong in Europe, many of the errors in the short text above become familiar in the extreme.

To my mind, the most important aspect of so called European English is in its use and application. Who are these users of English as a second language? When do they use English to communicate? Who do they communicate with in English? How often do they communicate with native English speakers?

A vast percentage of Europeans speak English at varying levels of proficiency. Noticeably, Scandinavian countries have been actively teaching English since the nineteen fifties and generally have an excellent level. Often approaching native proficiency. Germans also have a very good general level of English. Further south in Europe, strong Latin accents can inhibit understanding, but good operational levels are becoming far more common. I recall my first visit to Paris in the early nineties and having great difficulty in finding people in hotels, restaurants and shops who spoke even a little English. Now, almost all of these establishments in Paris are staffed with very good speakers of English.

The most surprising element of English in Europe is that its prime purpose is not to communicate with native English speakers such as tourists. It is used between Europeans as a lingua franca. Where I live in Switzerland, the French speakers use English to communicate with the German and Italian speaking Swiss, and visa versa. So it could be called the holiday language. Additionally, the internet, and particularly the recent advent of social networking has increased the use of English in Europe remarkably.

Another practicality has increased the use of English in Europe. The European Union now has members with twenty-seven official languages to accommodate. While French and Spanish are still widely spoken, English has become the language of choice in politics. This is also evident in the increased use of English in the United Nations.

Returning to Sylvie’s small piece at the beginning of this article. There are very clear errors in her grammar and vocabulary. For me this is not the issue. The question I pose is what errors are there that are an impediment to accurate comprehension? In my view, although her text is obviously affected by French structures and lexis, there is nothing that would inhibit accurate comprehension by a native or second language speaker of English. Assuming that she may have a strong accent as well, she would be classed as a competent operational user of European English. A now very common and increasingly competent attribute among Europeans.

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The following three phrases have become my all time favourites in demonstrating clarity in writing for my students of English. While all are grammatically perfect, only one is absolutely clear in its sense, meaning and accuracy of description.

1. The man played the piano with three legs.

2. She loves him.

3. I usually wear a smurtleclop in winter because my bald head and ears get very cold.

It probably didn’t take you long to select phrase 3, even though it has a very strange word as its primary object. The word smurtleclop is a complete invention on my part, but I use it to demonstrate how a well constructed sentence can give sense and meaning accurately. A smurtleclop is obviously something worn on the head to keep warm. It also covers the ears. The reader my also see something made of fur or wool. Perhaps with flaps that can be lowered to cover the ears.

When writing about technical or professional matters for general consumption, I would always recommend this approach for material that contains in house or new technical vocabulary. A well written article can lose the reader in the first paragraph if it contains a word such as smurtleclop without assisting the reader to understand.

The first phrase is a common error. It is simply confusion as to the descriptive element of the subject or object. Use of an adjective would solve the problem. So either a three legged man, or a three legged piano would have been preferable as it clarifies which object is being described. Or, if in fact the man was deformed, the phrase could say that the man with three legs played the piano. Either way, the proximity of the description to the object or subject is the key to understanding.

The second phrase is the most difficult to understand. The reason is that such a short phrase could be interpreted a number of ways. If we heard the phrase spoken we would understand from the intonation used. However, in writing we do not have that ability. I have seen this problem occur many times and in our era of rapid and short textural communication and it can lead to major misunderstandings. The various meanings of this phrase are outlined below.

She➙ loves him.
Stress on she indicates that there is question as to whether it is her who loves him. Maybe it could be someone else who loves him.

She loves➚ him.
Stress on loves indicates that there is question as to whether she loves him. Maybe she just likes him or is just after his money.

She loves➘ him.
Downward stress on loves indicates that there is no question as to whether she loves him. She is in love.

She loves him.➚
Upward stress on him indicates that there is question as to whether she loves him or someone else in fact.

She loves him.➘
Downward stress on him indicates that there is no question as to whether she loves him.

Five meanings from three words. I have seen short phrases such as ‘I’ll do it.’, ‘No way.’ and ‘Yes, I know.’ misinterpreted in emails and cause more than a little aggravation. So my advice it to be careful in using these in text.

Although we are encouraged as writers to keep our writing concise, clear and to the point, there are some circumstances where a little thought about word order, or additional information is necessary to ensure our message is delivered clearly.

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As writers, it is very easy to forget who it is that are reading our words. If you consider the number of words that are read nowadays on screen as opposed to on paper, you may want to consider readers of English to whom English is a second or third language, as part of your real or potential readership. As a teacher of English, I know full well that this opening paragraph is highly unsuitable reading for an operating level non-native English reader.

Reading is very important when acquiring, learning, improving, practising and perfecting a new language. For students, reading allows time to think, consider and work out what is being said. Listening skills take much longer to acquire than reading, so it is important for them to find reading texts that are both manageable to read, and importantly, interesting.

Blogs are now being used more and more in English language teaching because they offer such a wide choice of subject matter to attract student attention and are also usually of an appropriate length. Around two hundred to six hundred words. So when you are writing blogs and articles perhaps it is worth considering your grammar and lexis. Second language students normally have trouble understanding when they have difficulty in finding the basic elements of phrase. That is, subject, verb, object. Even if they do not understand the adjectives, adverbs, modifiers and some vocabulary, they can still follow an idea so long as the structure is friendly for them.

If I was to consider this article as being good material for a student, I would re-write my introductory paragraph above as follows.

Writers can forget the readers of their words. People are reading more words on screens now than in books or magazines. Second language English students are reading more and more material on the internet as a way of learning and practising their English. Writers should think about using material that is suitable for these readers.

The most noticeable change here is in starting sentences with a clear subject. Sentences starting with adverbial phrases, gerunds and prepositions cause difficulty for students who have less than an advanced level of English. Cleft sentences and conditionals without if, test even an advanced learner.

Another consideration is in the demographic of those acquiring English. Professionals, academics, bankers, doctors, lawyers, IT specialists and the list goes on. In fact, the same demographic you are writing for currently, except with less than mother tongue English skills. I would certainly not advise changing your style to that of a children’s bedtime story. However, I would consider keeping the first one or two paragraphs reasonably student friendly to at least grab their interest and add the possibility of new readers of your work. You can then happily show of your ability to use the subjunctive later in your piece.

My advice? Were it to be me, I wouldn’t use a phrase such as, lo ‘t was my postilion who was stuck by lightening, though. Be that as it may, you are still advised to write with form and style.

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