There are just a few things I can’t do without. Items that have been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Perhaps they have formed part of my persona over the years. Or then again, maybe I’m getting old and am totally stuck in my ways.

The first, top, number one and genuinely the thing I just can’t do without are Levi jeans. If I’m not wearing Levi’s I feel inadequate, unfashionable and to be quite honest, uncomfortable in the nether regions. As fashion trends come and go, or in my case been and went, I still go on a hunt for the waist and leg size I know so well.

Second in line is another irreplaceable part of my personality. My Zippo. As smelly and inconvenient as it is, it fits perfectly in my Levi’s fob pocket, and over the years leaves its own special worn and faded area in my jeans. Overfilling from time to time and putting directly in my fob pocket has been a mistake I make from time to time, but the burning sensation in my groin reminds me of how well they work together.

The last item is an odd one. Blundstone boots. A relic from my Australian upbringing, but boots that last, and last. My four pairs work just as well as the day I bought them. My only deep and grave concern is that they have recently stopped production in Tasmania, the home of Blundstone, and they will now be made somewhere in Asia. Maybe my four pairs will last until I drop.

The one thing these three true brands have in common is that they last and last. A rarity nowadays.

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It is coming towards that time of the year when an annual scientific mystery leaves me puzzled as to what can happen inside a wardrobe over the cold winter months. In recent years this puzzling mystery had increased in ferocity and is starting to give me strange phobias about leaving the bitterness of winter and wanting to enjoy the pleasures of spring.

There is just no rational explanation as to why all my precious Levi’s reduce in waist line capacity over winter and induce an extremely uncomfortable standing start to the warmer temperatures. Sitting during the first weeks of spring is next to impossible. The same affliction affects my wardrobe of trendy short sleeved shirts which all suffer from a mystery winter induced movement of buttons. Particularly in the midriff area. Belts are even affected, which is a surprise, as they are made of leather and I thought they would survive this malady.

The strange part about this mystery is that socks and shoes seem to be immune as are hats and sloppy old cardigans.

Oh well, what is life without a few little mysteries? I am sure my Levi’s (with the unbuttoned top button) won’t be noticed if I keep wearing my sloppy old cardigan buttoned up tight!

Derek's Vandal Blog
www.derekhaines.ch
Derek on Twitter
Derek's Author Page