Summer is only just over a month old and already I have had enough. Enough heat, enough salad, enough cold chicken, enough ice cream.

Now for all you summer lovers this may come as a surprise to learn that there are people like me who just literally detest summer. Having been born and raised in a hot, dry, arid and altogether unpleasant climate in the far, dry west of Australia, I have to tell you I have seen and felt enough boiling sunshine, hot sand and salt water to last a life time.

Since my accidental transportation and relocation to Switzerland I have been in my absolute element enjoying the comfort and epicurean delights of bitingly cold winters, chilly springs and crisp, golden autumns. But the summer still sucks.

So from late June through to the end of August I remain in a grumpy mood as I wait for September to herald the start of my nine months of bliss. The big, big, big event on my personal calendar is the start of the ‘chasse’ or hunting season in late September. Not because I like hunting at all, but I do like the end result on my plate and I munch away heartily in the full knowledge that my meal of wild pig and fruits confirms that at last the hot days of summer are just a memory.

Damn. Still two more months of sweating to suffer.

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At last. The end of winter seems to have arrived and I can get on with planning my new warm weather routine. Not that things change radically tough. Exchange my pull over for a t-shirt, slippers for bare feet and beer on a terrace instead of inside a café. However there is something special about this change of season that makes it far more spectacular than the other three.

Love. Yes, spring heralds the necessity to get on with procreation in all its wondrous forms. Right now there are birds landing on my balcony, beaks full of twigs, readying a nest for the mating season. Flies have suddenly reemerged from their well, wherever they have been and whatever they have been doing while their world was frozen. Ice is turning into water again and the sound of frogs cannot be too far away.

Then there are the little darlings who have been wrapped in long black coats for nearly four months, and now feel it’s time to show some skin and as much of their new found cleavage as they can and start attracting some boys. Mind you, goose pimples are not all that attractive, but they are a tough breed, so they persist.

For the oldies who have passed the biological obligations and necessities of spring, there are of course flowers to fascinate and pass the time of day as well as the opportunity to put that stale bread to good use once again and feed the birds.

Ahh! Spring. Enjoy.

And remember! 'Those who may want to spring on the inner spring this spring, may find they have offspring next spring.'

Derek's Vandal Blog
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While us good intentioned and concerned members of the human race have been recycling our aluminium cans, using recycled paper and using public transport in our attempts to save our precious and only planet, it now is becoming clear that we have been conned all the way along. Our efforts were going absolutely nowhere. What we have done individually to date may be good for our soul, but at the end of the day it is big multinational enterprises and governments who are destroying planet Earth for our grandchildren. And they haven’t been willing to slow down their destructive practices and policies.

Until now. All has changed. As I write, the world of government and commerce is meeting in Copenhagen to do what I don’t really know. Probably issue a nice declaration on the last day, and then they can all go home after two weeks of good food and wine.

However, it is part of a mood shift within the economies of the world at present towards a new money making opportunity. Green Greed. Gordon Gekko would approve of this I am sure. It is right up his monopolistic street, where corporations can exploit their consumers for maximum benefit and most importantly, profit. Did you really think that our planet would be saved by kind hearted, socially spirited and responsible individuals working together?

The sad truth is that in all our best endeavours, nothing was ever going to happen until someone could profit from saving the world. This process has now started. Green technologies are now big business. The crying shame is that have been around for a very long time, but the ‘market’ was not ripe enough to be fully exploited.

Consider this. The silicon chips that run our computers and almost everything we touch these days have increased in power and efficiency and reduced in price by an average of 50% per year since 1985. See Moore’s Law for details. If the photovoltaic chip that is used in solar energy collection had made the same progress in that time, we would be collecting our own electricity for free from a very small collector on our roofs, balconies or grass huts by now. But the key word here is free. Apart from ourselves, who would want us to have free non-polluting energy? Certainly not energy companies with shareholders. Certainly not governments who tax energy. What would happen to the world economy if energy was free? The answer to this question has been the problem all the way along.

Don’t fret though, we will get our renewable energy in the coming years. When it is profitable to sell it to us. When it can be commercially exploited. When Green Greed can be applied to its distribution. When governments can tax sunlight, wind and tides.

So please, come back Gordon Gekko. The world needs to be saved from global warming and climatic catastrophe. You need to extoll the virtues of greed once again, but this time in a Green Greed form to encourage corporations to get to work on exploiting us once again in the good name of Planet Saving Greed.

Yes, Green Greed is good.

Derek's Vandal Blog
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