The Secrets of Derek Haines author writer and poet
My Take Away Vampire
November 25 2011

A tasty little novella coming soon!

My Take Away Vampire - A Tasty Novella

Although Agatha is over three hundred years old, it certainly doesn’t mean that she can’t adapt and fit into ugly post-industrial small town suburbia. Partial to the delights that an evening at McDonald’s often serve her, she waits at her favourite dimly lit corner table – for her kind of take away.

Being your typical urban vampire, this means that her fare isn’t up in bright lights on the menu above the cashiers. However, she usually finds exactly what she is looking for. Her teenage beauty, long blonde hair and ice blue eyes are a temptation very few can resist.

After a long and predictable vampiric existence, trouble is afoot for Agatha. Red headed, freckled and just a little slow on the uptake sometimes, young Reggie stumbles into Agatha’s predictability and turns it on its head.

Add the over-protective and rhyming ghost of a dead poet, a snarling black wolf, some cops and Agatha’s preference for the 1980’s fashion of mini-skirts, satin halter neck tops and knotted white blouses, things just may go awry.

Along with a couple of untimely and unfortunate deaths, and Reggie’s complete misunderstanding of anything at all that’s going on, the awry becomes a dead certainty.

Enjoy My Take Away Vampire. A very different yet tasty little vampire tale.
April 25 2011

New Glothic Project

It seems two is just not enough, so I'm underway with the third glothic episode. At least it will make a neat trilogy of February, HAL and now; The Brotherhood.
HAL by Derek Haines #HAL
April 2 2011

Gloth project No 2

For the very few people who venture here, a hint at a new Glothic tale.
January 9 2011

It's Started

Well, in a very limited way. But the course has now been set and my current project has the smell of a sequel about it. A sequel to what though?
January 6 2011

A blank sheet of paper

With February The Fifth all but completed, it's time to move on to something new. It always feels like losing a good friend after spending so much time with a character for months on end.

But now it's time to make a new friend. I'm just hoping that this new friend will make an appearance soon on the blank sheet of paper sitting in front of me.
December 19 2010

Now for the details.

February The Fifth is now in the advance reader stage and final proofing and editing will begin soon. Can you guess what release date we are aiming for?
November 15 2010

All the hard work has been done.

February The Fifth is getting ready for release so now it's the waiting period until he sees the light of day. I'll keep you posted on his progress.

I guess that means that it's time to start dreaming up something new. I wonder?
October 23 2010

Next release! Coming Soon!

February The Fifth

In a remarkable turn of events, a young man with a lot definitely not going for him, somehow manages to come to terms with a startling reality. He has to grow up. Being handicapped by not only having rather nasty acne and an odd eye impediment, he also has to suffer the fact that his name is February. Or at best, Feb to his very limited number of friends.

While not at all wishing to rush into this startling new reality, circumstances and a few elbow nudges from his very protective elder sister ensure that his ‘not at all wishing’ turns out to be a complete waste of time. Thrust totally and altogether unwillingly into a position of authority by early afternoon, February finds himself with a new appendage tacked on to the end his name.

The Fifth. The new and very authoritative part of his name.

Of course, as is the case in all such rapid and thrusting types of promotion to positions of power, there will be those who are not happy about it. In February’s case however, he finds that in fact these those amount to just about everyone apart from his three sisters.

Undaunted by this reality, Feb accepts his new responsibility and by early evening sets about getting himself into a real tangle. His only true achievement being that he discovers that quite a few of these those who weren’t so happy, are in fact really very upset about the whole Fifth appendage deal. By bedtime, he thinks he is in trouble.

Before lunchtime the next day, he is sure.
October 14 2010 - While still grinding out words on the Feb5 project, there is a hint in the air of something musical next. Wanna Boogie?
DerekHaines5th
Sept 19 2010. The secret is out. This is the working title for my current book. Follow my progress as write on Twitter @FebThe5th
Sept 10 2010 - Well into a whole new book!!! Hiding under a rock, but working hard. What's it about? Hint. I like birthdays.
Sept 3 2010 - I must be insane. Working on two new novels at the same time. What an idiot!
Aug 13 2010 - More news. My new project seems to have me mesmerised by the number 12.
Aug 1 2010 - This is a big secret. More news soon.