Derek's
Vandalism of Words
Who or what is Derek Haines? Novelist, songwriter, singer, musician, author, poet, lazy soul, vandal, idiot, grandfather? Who knows? From his own description below, it seems he doesn't really know either.
For some reason, I was created ten years ago at the age of 42, and then just started writing books, novels, poetry, songs and anything else one can do with a pencil and piece of paper. Everything is a bit of a blur before that. A strange blueish blur in fact.
I seem to be attracted to the antithesis of anything. The divergent, contrary, antipode or just plain opposite. Agreeing seems to be one of my very weak points. On the other hand, I am a very good cook, which hardly anyone believes. Additionally, I don't agree with nobody that double negatives are passé. I didn't used to teach English for nothing, you know.
As for my writing style, I just try to put words in, as Douglas Adams once said, 'a clever order'. Not that I always achieve this feat. Probably because my creative juices are handicapped by trying to remember how to spell. I always get stuck on words like restar... no.... restaura... no restaure..... well you know, somewhere you go to eat food. My clever order theory is often tested by the fact that my impatience always races ahead of my brain and fingers. Causes a bit of calamity.
I tend to write best in a horizontal position which makes for a lot of wear and tear on my sofa and annoys everyone around me who would like to use the sofa from time to time. Once they have moved all the books, papers, files, laptops, CDs and cigarette butts, there's normally enough space for them, but I tend to reclaim my territory quite quickly.
I'm always slaving away on an idea, new novel, blog and song at the same time, so I get a bit confused sometimes. Well, all the time. Oh, really slaving is not a good word to describe me accurately. Working? No. Trying? No. Being criminally lazy? Yes. That's the one.
Well apart from the spelling, enjoy what vandalism you find here.
Derek
Go to About Me for more silly info. Or HERE to discover why I like being an idiot.
Who or what is Derek Haines? Novelist, songwriter, singer, musician, author, poet, lazy soul, vandal, idiot, grandfather? Who knows? From his own description below, it seems he doesn't really know either.
For some reason, I was created ten years ago at the age of 42, and then just started writing books, novels, poetry, songs and anything else one can do with a pencil and piece of paper. Everything is a bit of a blur before that. A strange blueish blur in fact.
I seem to be attracted to the antithesis of anything. The divergent, contrary, antipode or just plain opposite. Agreeing seems to be one of my very weak points. On the other hand, I am a very good cook, which hardly anyone believes. Additionally, I don't agree with nobody that double negatives are passé. I didn't used to teach English for nothing, you know.
As for my writing style, I just try to put words in, as Douglas Adams once said, 'a clever order'. Not that I always achieve this feat. Probably because my creative juices are handicapped by trying to remember how to spell. I always get stuck on words like restar... no.... restaura... no restaure..... well you know, somewhere you go to eat food. My clever order theory is often tested by the fact that my impatience always races ahead of my brain and fingers. Causes a bit of calamity.
I tend to write best in a horizontal position which makes for a lot of wear and tear on my sofa and annoys everyone around me who would like to use the sofa from time to time. Once they have moved all the books, papers, files, laptops, CDs and cigarette butts, there's normally enough space for them, but I tend to reclaim my territory quite quickly.
I'm always slaving away on an idea, new novel, blog and song at the same time, so I get a bit confused sometimes. Well, all the time. Oh, really slaving is not a good word to describe me accurately. Working? No. Trying? No. Being criminally lazy? Yes. That's the one.
Well apart from the spelling, enjoy what vandalism you find here.
Derek
Go to About Me for more silly info. Or HERE to discover why I like being an idiot.
I'm looking for the mystery links on this site. Are you?
Books
Please stop reading IMMEDIATELY if you start to feel a little faint and seek URGENT medical attention.
Music & CDs
If you have read this far on this page, you should receive a medal. Click here to get it.
